Understanding what mindfulness is (and what it isn't!)
- jayelisa2
- Jun 17
- 7 min read
Hey folks!
It's been quite a while since I've written a blog post. I've been busy working on my counselling accreditation (almost 8000 words later!) focussing on maintaining my health and enjoying my work in my counselling, coaching and supervision practice. I have always approached life and work in the spirit of honesty and authenticity. On the surface, whilst things look and feel pretty stable, it has not been without challenges and there have been many curveballs that have have landed of late. This has led me to reflect upon how I approach and navigate difficulty when it arises and the role of mindfulness within this.
When I was in a particularly difficult period with Long Covid a few years ago, I was offered the opportunity to undertake an 18 week group mindfulness course, offered via the NHS CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Service. My keyworker introduced it as an experiential opportunity to use mindfulness to better manage and approach the challenges of my condition. Hmmm, interesting I thought and my inner sceptic kicked in: how could this possibly help me. In my desperation to get better, I thought I'd give it a go as I was open to ANYTHING that might support me in the recovery process. I won't go into it in detail now but during the course, I went through a wide range of different experiences, feelings and emotions which essentially culminated and carved out the next steps in my life and career. In a nutshell, for the first time I felt supported and heard by others going through the same issues as me. As frustrating as I found it learning to 'pace' myself, rest and begin to gently confront difficult physical and emotional symptoms 'with compassion and 'without judgement', I began to experience moments of hope that I could have some sense of autonomy and choice over how I approached my condition.
This experience led me on to a (slow and winding path) towards establishing a daily mindfulness practice but also undertake specialist teacher training in mindfulness for people living chronic pain and fatigue. I qualified in 2025 and continue to integrate elements of the professional training and learning into my work as a 1:1 therapist working with individuals living with anxiety, stress and burnout and fatigue. I have lived experience of going through it myself as a patient within the NHS and feel fortunate to be able use my further professional training to shape how I work with others.
Despite this, I have remained grounded, realistic and open minded about both the benefits and limitations of a mindfulness approach in daily life. I have never become a mindfulness evangelist nor do I believe that it is 'cure all' or solution to living with a chronic illness or the sheer anxiety inducing overwhelm of life. What I do know, is it can really support in tuning in more to being more present with 'what is happening 'right now' and support a stronger connection with 'being' rather than 'doing' This has strongly influenced how I move through life with (a bit more) more, wisdom, autonomy, awareness, self compassion and acceptance.
The word 'mindfulness' is a popular term often linked to stress reduction, mental health, and overall well-being. However, I feel that it is often misunderstood and misrepresented which can lead to frustration or missed opportunities to benefit from a mindful approach to difficulty. This post aims to clarify what mindfulness is (and what it is not) to dispel common myths, and offer practical insights for anyone curious about incorporating mindfulness into daily life or as an approach to manage anxiety, stress, burnout or a chronic condition.
What Mindfulness is
In a car we can sometimes drive for miles "on automatic pilot", without really being aware of what we are doing. In the same way, we may not be really "present", moment by moment, for much of our lives: we can often be "miles away" without knowing it.
On automatic pilot, we are more likely to have our "buttons pressed" Events around us, and thoughts, feelings and sensations (of which we may be only dimly aware) can trigger old habits of thinking and reacting that can be unhelpful and may lead on to a worsening of our mood or physical state.
By becoming more aware of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations from moment to moment, we give ourselves the possibility of greater freedom and choice. We do not have to stay in the same old ruts that may have caused problems in the past and still be causing difficulties.
A simple way of thinking about it is to think about mindfulness is that what we are trying to do is cultivate gentle awareness that allows us to see what is happening right now and that this moment is the result of what has gone before and also holds the seeds of the next moment.
Mindfulness can offer a way into rest for the exhausted because it is about awareness. It is not about achieving a particular state, it is a compassionate and embodied tending to this moment. This can support us when we are feeling overwhelmed and break down ways of coming to a rest into very doable chunks of action.
Key Elements of Mindfulness
Present moment focus: Concentrating on what is happening right now rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Non-judgmental awareness: Observing experiences, thoughts, feelings and emotions without labelling them as 'good' or 'bad'
Acceptance: Allowing thoughts and feelings to be 'as they are' without trying to change or suppress them.
Intentionality: This could be a formal sitting/ laying/walking practice or through becoming more mindful during a daily activity.
What Mindfulness Is Not
Mindfulness is not about stopping thoughts
Many people believe mindfulness means emptying the mind or achieving a blank state. This is not true. Mindfulness involves noticing thoughts without attachment or reaction, not eliminating them. The aim is to increase our awareness so that we can respond to situations with choice, rather than reacting automatically. Over time becoming more aware of where our attention is, and deliberately changing the focus of attention can help us to make wiser, more informed choices.
Mindfulness is not relaxation or escapism
While mindfulness can feel relaxing or lead to feeling more calm, it's purpose is not simply to relax or avoid discomfort. It encourages facing reality fully, including difficult emotions or sensations.
Mindfulness is not a quick fix
Mindfulness is a skill developed over time. It requires regular practice and patience. It is not a magic solution that instantly removes stress or anxiety.
Mindfulness is not about being passive
Mindfulness promotes active engagement with our experience. It helps you respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. It is not about zoning out or daydreaming and is the opposite of distraction or being on autopilot.
Mindfulness is not (necessarily) Meditation
Meditation is a common way to practice mindfulness and often viewed as restful thing to do but meditation is not about the attention to rest: it is about staying aware, being aware with a crisp attentive mind. Mindfulness on the others hand, can also be applied during everyday activities like eating, walking, or washing dishes. It is about bringing awareness to any moment.
Mindfulness is not (necessarily) religious and/or spiritual
Although mindfulness has spiritual origins, it can be practiced in a secular way without any religious beliefs. Lots of therapists and healthcare providers use mindfulness approaches in their work purely for the benefits to mental health and wellbeing.
Mindfulness requires hours of daily practice
Even brief moments of mindfulness can be helpful, particularly for those living with fatigue, stress, anxiety and burnout. Starting with just a few minutes a day and gradually increasing is enough to experience benefits.
Practical Ways to start Mindfulness
Mindful breathing: Focus on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back.
Body scan: Slowly pay attention to different parts of your body, noticing any tension or sensations.
Mindful eating: Eat slowly, savouring each bite and noticing the taste, texture, and smell.
Mindful walking: Walk slowly and notice the feeling of your feet touching the ground and the movement of your body.
Pause and observe: Take short breaks during the day to notice your surroundings, sounds, or your current emotional state.
Important note: Focussing internally in the body or on the breath can be particularly difficult or overwhelming for those living with anxiety or chronic fatigue/pain or have a history of trauma. My advice is to start small and focus on the use of EXTERNAL anchors first. This could be as simple as looking at what is around you in your room or outside of your window (sight/vision) and letting your attention gently rest on an object or something that you are curious about. Or it could be using sounds (noticing the sounds coming and going, the tone, texture and volume of sounds) You could also focus on your feet on the floor or rest your attention on your hands.
NEXT STEPS
This is NOT about perfection: Mindfulness is about progress, not perfection. It’s totally normal for your mind to wander.
Be patient: Benefits grow with consistent practice over weeks or months.
Use guided resources: Apps, videos, or classes can provide structure and support. I have recorded some practices here that you can access for free. Don't expect calming music and rainforest sounds, it's just me actually doing the practice and inviting you to join me! https://soundcloud.com/mindfulness-with-jayne
Integrate mindfulness into daily life: Look for opportunities to practice outside formal mindfulness sessions.
I integrate mindfulness and body based approaches into my work as a therapist but I also offer a specialised 8- week 1:1 programme for individuals wishing for a more in depth, guided support. We will explore everything from how to start out with formal practice, how to integrate mindfulness into daily life, understanding the role of the nervous and emotional response systems, overcoming cycles of boom and bust, resourcing ourselves, understanding our thought processes and much more!
If you would like to work with me: you can book a FREE introductory call on my calendly link:
Please note: My professional training is trauma-informed and aligned with BAMBA requirements for Mindfulness-based programs like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) which has been widely used in clinical settings with beneficial results.
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